Getting Ready

Yesterday I got into the office early. I am usually up by 6am, the kids didn't have school and there were a couple of things I wanted to finish up. The first thing I did was to put a note into my calendar to remind me of the things I had to do before I leave the office in the evening. I wouldn't be coming into the office at least for the next two weeks and possibly longer depending on how I respond to the chemotherapy.

It felt like my final day at work and I was relocating to some other part of the world. My siblings visited me, friends asked me out for lunch and dinner, colleagues popping by to extend their best wishes. One of them talked about her one-month trekking adventure in Nepal and how the thoughts of glorious Singapore food kept her going when it got really tough and demoralising. Made me laugh. Another friend took me to an organic shop because I wanted to get soursop tea. Yet another bought me a medicinal plant. Many said a prayer for me over lunch.

At home, it feels like we were preparing for a state-imposed curfew. Not quite sure what to expect, we are hoping for the best but preparing for the worst. Reorganising the responsibilities at home as well as our diet. Stocking up on supplements in case I completely lose my appetite. Bought my second son a pair of new shoes in case I am not well enough to go out when his current shoes give way. I can't override the attachment he has to his current shoes so we did the next best thing. I also bought my daughter's birthday presents in advance. I think you end up buying better presents when you are in a better state of mind. We shall see.

This morning my second son woke me up. He showed me a note and a present my elder son had left on the dining table for me. He had to leave home early in the morning for a camp at school and would be away for a few days. In his note he explained that he would not be around when I start on the chemo. He signed off the letter with "I hope this is encouraging. Love you". I think I am as ready as I can get.


"This is my Father's world. 
O let me ne'er forget 
that though the wrong seems oft so strong, 
God is the ruler yet. 
This is my Father's world: 
why should my heart be sad? 
The Lord is King; let the heavens ring! 
God reigns; let the earth be glad!"