Growing Up Together

She is, to him, like the blue blanket is to Linus van Pelt. Where he goes, his Mei Mei follows. He comes up with creative play-pretend, and she is the main cast. Recently, he decided that when our small group meets for fellowship, they too would have a small group meeting at the yellow Ikea table. Although they may have a slightly different idea about the book of Numbers. Other groupie activities include reading the road safety manual together, two-against-one wrestling match with me, or hosting a big social event in their bedroom. Another favourite activity is hiding out in the step-in grocery cupboard near the dining area to plan their secret assignments. Their mission, "to explore strange new worlds, to seek out new life and new civilizations, to boldly go where no man has gone before". At times, their elder brother becomes their target for exploration. 

Like any true relationship, there are disagreements. She has lots of buttons and he presses them when he gets bored, sometimes all at once. Almost every car ride ends up with the two of them waging an endless "you started it first" argument. And of course, fairness, which comes pre-programmed in every child you order. There is a big warning sign about this for repeat orders and in the post-sale user manual. When this basic principle in life isn't met, deafening screams for justice and equality are unleashed, followed by buckets of tears. I remind myself that such episodes teach kids to love one another although things aren't perfect.

They are competitive about every possible thing - who bathes first, who finishes brushing their teeth, who wins the most times playing board or card games. Sibling rivalry has nudged Mei Mei to eat faster, drink more milk, and to put on a brave front on her first day at the kindergarten. It had also at times spurred her imagination. Before she even started kindergarten, she would tell us what her teacher said. This is often in response to her brother recounting his day at school.

He rescued his sister on two occasions when she fell into the swimming pool face down. On both occasions, he carefully held her head up so that she could breathe. This evening, when she was sleeping too close to the edge of the living room sofa, he ran to her rescue. So when she got upset with him for apparently giving her a stern stare, I recounted his rescue effort earlier in the evening to remind her that he loves her. He explained to her that he wasn't staring at her but that it was his bored look without her company. She burst into tears because she felt embarrassed that she was unhappy with him. 

Recently, he taught her how to swim with her floats on. I've not had success convincing her to float in the water by herself. She would cling onto me tightly whenever we are in the pool together. One day, somehow his brother took her by the hand and led her around the pool. At first she was nervous but eventually she warmed up to it. Very soon she could propel herself around the pool without holding on to her brother's hand. It was simply amazing to see how a young child can teach another a lesson in trust.

Every parent will have similar stories to tell about their own kids. But it doesn't make it less special for any of us. Children have an incredible way of reminding us of God's loving nature and humour. And to remind us that every child is a special gift and miracle not only to their parents but also to one another.