Normalcy

A good friend WhatsApp-ed me this morning "U haven't written your blog for 8 days". I don't have a target but it hadn't struck me that it's been 8 days. I've been back at work the last 2 weeks, and doing my best to get onto the rowing machine when I get home. I make it sound like I spend hours rowing but in reality it takes between 30-40 minutes, an hour if I count the post-rowing shower time. Once I am done with dinner and I've spent some time with the kids, I'll try to get to bed early. Return to normalcy.

But in all honesty, the new normal requires me to be a bit more regimental. I should have sufficient intake of proteins, I should not forget to take my supplements,  I should drink about 3 litres of water a day. I stepped up my efforts after the mid-cycle blood test indicated that my blood count was low. Normal didn't mean I should do what I prefer doing. It meant that if I wanted to go about feeling normal, I will have to have more fish and less pasta. I should not skip my twice a day protein supplement even though it tastes awful, especially when I mix it into beetroot juice and the TCM supplement. Normal just isn't doing what you normally feel like doing anymore.

But also the new normal ought to be more than the daily grind. Everyday is a gift isn't it? There ought to be a greater sense of mission. I do that a lot better at work than outside of work unfortunately. It is not about having a bucket list, ticking off boxes. I am not about to jump out of a plane or do a bungy. I hate the free falling sensation. I would certainly want to clock in more travels, but that isn't quite it either. 

Time for some introspection - what going to make the new normal extraordinary? Not every thought crystalizes by the end of a blogpost. Maybe that's what's held me back from blogging over the last 8 days. Maybe the full 6 months of treatment will be the catharsis that enlightens me.