Losing Perspective

This past week was a toughie. The rashes were unrelenting. My neck got better but the rashes spread down my entire back and chest. Red patches that gave me goose pimples when I saw them, which then made the condition look even worse. This was something straight out of the Dermatologist Visual Guide to Dermatological Conditions. I kept wondering how it got so bad. I had the same conditional several years back triggered by what I think was a food allergy. I stopped consuming milk related products because I am lactose intolerant, and stayed away from my list of suspicions.

I went for a blood test on Wednesday in preparation for the chemo scheduled for the next day. But in my heart I knew that the outcomes were not going to be great. The doctor's response later that day was cryptic but not unexpected. He said he had a few questions for me when we meet the next day. So yes I still had to make that trip to the doctor even though I knew I wasn't going to be doing the chemo and feeling rather uncomfortable. Health conditions are never convenient.

The itch kept me up Wednesday night so I felt tired as I made my was to the oncologist on Thursday morning. My sister who took time off from work this week accompanied me. The doctor thought maybe I have chicken pox and referred me to a dermatologist. The horrors of chicken pox in my teenage years were forever carved into my mind, this wasn't it.  Two hours later I met up with the dermatologist. He concluded that it was viral, not a drug or food allergy. He gave me drugs to treat the symptoms but I had to wait for the virus to run its course. Things that happen to you when your immunity is low.

I slept a lot the last two day. I didn't even feel like going out for a nice lunch to cheer up, which is unprecedented. I wasn't a happy bunny nor a praise bunny. I avoided thanking God for yet another day, over what? Over some rashes, it is unbelievable. Overwhelmed, I lost perspective. I did ask "God surely it is easy for you to take this really bad itch away?" Humility, patience, obedience, a sense of perspective aren't things I can learn in a lab. I have to learn it like how everyone else learns it. I learn it like how Jesus walked it. I have to let this run its course too.


But we have this treasure in jars of clay to show that this all-surpassing power is from God and not from us. We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair; persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed. We always carry around in our body the death of Jesus, so that the life of Jesus may also be revealed in our body ~ 2 Corinthians 4:7-10