Lookback

Facebook did a look back on some of the photos of my daughter which I posted a couple of years back. Bald, toothless and still slightly chubby then, she looked at people intensely. She still does that today - often when I am scrolling on my phone, she would press her face against mine and demand that I look at her. She isn't attention seeking, she just wants me to know that she ought to be the centre of my attention.  

Children are amazing. They start off being part of your wife, two heartbeats but a single ecosystem. Formed in her innermost being, my wife still sees the children as her appendages forcibly separated by the obstetrician on their day of delivery. Although the children are of us, they are their own. Although we brought them into being, we can't dictate how their lives unfold. They are mysterious beings, full of surprises. It is their unpredictability that triggers laughter, tears, and many other emotionally charged moments. 

The kids have given me insights into my life and how it relates to God. For a start, no man or woman can claim that such intricate gifts are crafted by human hands. Multitude of living cells and connections set in place with utmost precision time and time again. In ancient words, God set into existence the biology of reproduction and He made us and all of nature participants in this great orchestra of life. There is a creator God who weaves each child in their mother's womb. 

Life follows a linear timeline ticking on second by second. Whether we are present in that second or not, it passes us by. Many times, valuable lessons were overlooked and significance moments were not captured in my heart. The workings of the Great Almighty's hands were missed out by my eyes that can only see what is physically visible. But the experiences with my kids have been opportunities to revisit these moments. They have awaken my consciousness to the realities of the past previously hidden. Placed in the parent's seat, I am acutely aware of my limitations and God's providence. His grace is indeed sufficient for His strength is made perfect in my weakness. 

As one who believes that I am a created being, I know that whatever good I am capable of is merely an echo of my Creator. No servant is greater than his Master. When I act in love and kindness toward my kids, I am but drawing from God's great warehouse. Whether it is wisdom, courage, compassion, determination or humility, I am a common tap to God's reservoir. And through the relationship with my kids, the eyes of my heart can vividly see my Father's relationship with me. I see that His heart is warm, that He longs to be understood, and He has made big sacrifices for me. 

He too occasionally looks back to when I was a bald toothless child with great delight.