Good-bye

My mother-in-law passed away peacefully in her sleep sometime on Saturday morning. She went through a lot in the past 7 months, most of it spent in the hospital. She outlasted the time that the doctors thought she had. There was a period when a whole room of doctors were convinced that she only had a few days left but she charged on probably for another 6 weeks. She had a strong will to fight on. She passed on not because she gave up on life, certainly not on those she loved; she passed on because it was time for her journey back home.

After being discharged from the hospital, she had good days when she was lucid and not so great days when she was incoherent due to the chemical imbalances in her body. She found it difficult to eat, drink and to take her medication, but there were occasions when she found something she enjoyed eating. My sister-in-law and her helper took care of her 24/7 and it was an emotional roller-coaster for them. Perhaps when someone is incoherent, they are less focused on the physical discomfort which their bodies have to endure. Even though it may be difficult for us to watch, perhaps it helps to numb their physical and mental suffering momentarily. A reprieve, a relieve. 

When we visited her on the night before her passing, she was again incoherent. Even so, she was able to sit up momentarily with some help. She said some things which my wife could not understand and she kept trying to readjust her sleeping position. I have seen her in worse conditions before the past few months, but I felt more emotional that evening. It felt like she was in a cocoon trying to break out of it to find her release. Little did we know that in a matter of hours, in the still of the night when nobody was watching, she found her release. I am glad that all the kids got to see her that night. Even though we didn't have much to say to her that evening, being there was enough. My wife got to hold her hands before she left. Some good-byes are just like that.

I was rather confused when my wife woke me up at 6am that morning. I thought she had forgotten that it was the weekend and that the kids didn't have school. I was surprised when she told me what had happened because we had seen her only a few hours ago. The kids were too. As we drove over to see her, "One Sweet Day" played over the radio. It was the first time I took noticed of the words to the song; how apt. When we arrived we gave thanks to God for her life and for His love for her, and we claimed the promises that we prayed together with her in earlier weeks. My wife gave her a kiss on her forehead.

This world is not our home. There are days of happiness and rejoicing, but life is also full of upheavals. We have the privilege of meeting many people along life's journey, some who will be with us for a lifetime. People embark and disembark at different parts of our journey. My mom-in-law whom we had shared the same carriage with on this life journey had arrived at her destination. Without her, I would not have met my wife and our children.  But all we can do is to thank her,  wish her well, say our good-byes and trust the Lord to watch over all of us until we meet again.