Independence

I thought this only happens in cartoons. Peanuts perhaps. This morning as I was walking my second son to school, I noticed a schoolboy who was walking ahead of us accompanied by his family helper. In his arms he was holding a bolster. From its size, my guess was that he has had this bolster since he was a toddler. It looked clean, but the slightly faded colours suggested that it has been well used. It intrigued me. I wondered what would happen when he got to school.

After about two minutes we got to the assembly area where the school kids make their way to the respective class queues. I gave my son a hug and a peck on the head and sent him off on his way. As I waved goodbye to my son, I saw the schoolboy hand over his bolster to the helper, take a big and deep sniff of it before letting it go. He looked satisfied and ready for his day ahead. His bolster was his confidence booster. If there was someone who knew what was important and didn't care what other people thought, it was this boy.

My guess is that one day this boy will get teased by his school friends and he would immediately stop bringing the bolster for his morning walk to school. My guess is that when that happens, he will put up a brave front and breathe calmly even though he feels like he is about to suffocate. My guess is that on that day the helper will be equally anxious as she sees this boy grow up right before her eyes. Perhaps she will sense that the inevitable has arrived, and accept that he will no longer be the same little boy she's grown so accustom to.

Whether as parents or grandparents, aunts, uncles or helpers, we are proud to see the kids grow into independent individuals. Yet these proud moments often leave us with very mix feelings - the sense that time has passed us by too quickly. When we turn back to take a second look, we no longer see the child we knew before. I certainly have this feeling when I walk my second son to school as it often reminds me of the time when I fetched my eldest son to school. Yet in only a couple of days, my eldest son will find out which pre-university college he will be posted to. In a blink of an eye. My consolation is that my daughter, the youngest in the family, is so much younger. Even so, she is fiercely independent.