Independence

I thought this only happens in cartoons. Peanuts perhaps. This morning as I was walking my second son to school, I noticed a schoolboy who was walking ahead of us accompanied by his family helper. In his arms he was holding a bolster. From its size, my guess was that he has had this bolster since he was a toddler. It looked clean, but the slightly faded colours suggested that it has been well used. It intrigued me. I wondered what would happen when he got to school.

After about two minutes we got to the assembly area where the school kids make their way to the respective class queues. I gave my son a hug and a peck on the head and sent him off on his way. As I waved goodbye to my son, I saw the schoolboy hand over his bolster to the helper, take a big and deep sniff of it before letting it go. He looked satisfied and ready for his day ahead. His bolster was his confidence booster. If there was someone who knew what was important and didn't care what other people thought, it was this boy.

My guess is that one day this boy will get teased by his school friends and he would immediately stop bringing the bolster for his morning walk to school. My guess is that when that happens, he will put up a brave front and breathe calmly even though he feels like he is about to suffocate. My guess is that on that day the helper will be equally anxious as she sees this boy grow up right before her eyes. Perhaps she will sense that the inevitable has arrived, and accept that he will no longer be the same little boy she's grown so accustom to.

Whether as parents or grandparents, aunts, uncles or helpers, we are proud to see the kids grow into independent individuals. Yet these proud moments often leave us with very mix feelings - the sense that time has passed us by too quickly. When we turn back to take a second look, we no longer see the child we knew before. I certainly have this feeling when I walk my second son to school as it often reminds me of the time when I fetched my eldest son to school. Yet in only a couple of days, my eldest son will find out which pre-university college he will be posted to. In a blink of an eye. My consolation is that my daughter, the youngest in the family, is so much younger. Even so, she is fiercely independent.

 

Interesting Week Ahead

Tomorrow should be interesting. It is my first day at a new work place. The last time I changed jobs was close to a decade ago so this is virtually a new experience for me. My friend who is also a headhunter recently joked that it would be extremely difficult to make a decent commission out of me because I seldom change jobs. I've had slightly more than a week off work, which just flew by. I spent it settling the younger kids in their new school year and got round to some of the chores that I have been putting aside. Instead of living out that dream of a month on a beach in Bali, I've at least cleared the mess in my living room. I even put together a starter's pack for my first day of work - a Uniqlo tissue box just because I had some to spare, a charger for my not so power efficient mobile phone, a glass mug which has been with me since my first job in Singapore, and a daily devotional calendar which I got from my executive assistant last Christmas. I feel ready.

But what is probably more exciting is that my eldest son is getting his O Levels exams results tomorrow. The thrill of the unknown, the path that awaits, closure after many months of effort, but most of all thanksgiving for witnessing this milestone in his life. There are many hills, mountains and valleys in a person's life journey. This is that time where we all take a pause and thank God for keeping us in one piece even if there may have been some cuts and bruises along the way.

I miss the slightly chubby little boy that entered secondary school just four years ago. He was chatty, cheerful and loved food. He is still chatty but much more careful about what he should say to his parents I suspect. He's cheerful because he just got himself a fish tank yesterday but may not be so cheerful when he finds out that I've blogged about him. He still loves food but frequently considers the trade-off between the calories and how exquisite the food is. The now trim-fit jeans wearing teenager shuns fast food but drools over smelly cheeses. It's weird being a parent, you see the same child but yet completely different. Sometimes, even now, I find myself looking for that little Sec 1 boy. 

Whatever the outcome tomorrow, I wish him and his cohort a good day of celebrating a new milestone in their lives. I wish them loyalty to their friendships and continued morale support in their life journey. I wish them humility to learn and the confidence to try. I wish them faith to trust God in their decisions and difficult times - more that anyone else, their Creator loves them. God bless our children.