Life is Precious

A couple of days back, I watched a mini documentary produced by The Economist of a 24 year old woman seeking euthanasia. She has been suffering from depression since the age of three and constantly self-harmed. Under Belgium law, sufferers seeking euthanasia need to be evaluated by three mental health specialists over a period of time. In her case, the approval process took two years.

In her last meeting with the panel of specialists, the doctor who was to perform the procedure explained what would happen. On the day of her appointment, the doctor would go to her home at the agreed time. She would be given two injections. The first would cause her to lose consciousness upon which there will be no turning back for her. The second is a lethal injection which would terminate her life. She was advised my the panel that she should not feel afraid or feel ashame to stop the procedure at any point in time when she is still conscious. But her mind was made up - she was determined to end her agony.

I was reminded of the documentary this morning when we found several of the fishes in my son's aquarium had died overnight. The fishes which appeared active just yesterday have bellied up. Although tiny creatures, seeing their lifeless form reminded me how supernatural life really is. My mind played back on how vigorously these creatures swam and how beautifully they interacted with their surroundings. My mind dwelled on the fact that what was is now no more. Life can leave us suddenly but memories of that life skids on.

Fortunately, the documentary had an optimistic end. When the doctor arrived at the patient's home, they spoke. The patient eventually told the doctor that she would not go ahead with the procedure. When she felt that she had control over the decision to end her life, it lessened her desire to die. A sudden loss of a precious life was averted. The precious memories of that person lives on in her own being rather than being tragically cast out of her.

As I write this, I am also thinking about the tragedy that struck the city of Paris yesterday night. Hundreds lost their lives or were severely injured my bombs and gunmen who had no regard for the sanctity of life. Those who orchestrated this are mad men who have confused God with evil, martyrdom with hatred, and a lack of purpose with a higher calling.

God gave life to every creature He created. He made tear-ducts for days when we struggle in life. When we lose our grip on Him, He continues to cling on to us. He is compassionate rather than judgemental when people lose their way and their hope. And He will avenge the lives lost innocently to the schemes of evil men. Life is in the hands of our Creator.

Lookback

Facebook did a look back on some of the photos of my daughter which I posted a couple of years back. Bald, toothless and still slightly chubby then, she looked at people intensely. She still does that today - often when I am scrolling on my phone, she would press her face against mine and demand that I look at her. She isn't attention seeking, she just wants me to know that she ought to be the centre of my attention.  

Children are amazing. They start off being part of your wife, two heartbeats but a single ecosystem. Formed in her innermost being, my wife still sees the children as her appendages forcibly separated by the obstetrician on their day of delivery. Although the children are of us, they are their own. Although we brought them into being, we can't dictate how their lives unfold. They are mysterious beings, full of surprises. It is their unpredictability that triggers laughter, tears, and many other emotionally charged moments. 

The kids have given me insights into my life and how it relates to God. For a start, no man or woman can claim that such intricate gifts are crafted by human hands. Multitude of living cells and connections set in place with utmost precision time and time again. In ancient words, God set into existence the biology of reproduction and He made us and all of nature participants in this great orchestra of life. There is a creator God who weaves each child in their mother's womb. 

Life follows a linear timeline ticking on second by second. Whether we are present in that second or not, it passes us by. Many times, valuable lessons were overlooked and significance moments were not captured in my heart. The workings of the Great Almighty's hands were missed out by my eyes that can only see what is physically visible. But the experiences with my kids have been opportunities to revisit these moments. They have awaken my consciousness to the realities of the past previously hidden. Placed in the parent's seat, I am acutely aware of my limitations and God's providence. His grace is indeed sufficient for His strength is made perfect in my weakness. 

As one who believes that I am a created being, I know that whatever good I am capable of is merely an echo of my Creator. No servant is greater than his Master. When I act in love and kindness toward my kids, I am but drawing from God's great warehouse. Whether it is wisdom, courage, compassion, determination or humility, I am a common tap to God's reservoir. And through the relationship with my kids, the eyes of my heart can vividly see my Father's relationship with me. I see that His heart is warm, that He longs to be understood, and He has made big sacrifices for me. 

He too occasionally looks back to when I was a bald toothless child with great delight.